id be glad to
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
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