so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
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Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
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first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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