Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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