Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
