I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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