I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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