I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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