I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
