woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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