He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
