My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
You need Xanax blowdarts
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
