you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
She told me I should be a condom model.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize