his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
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