That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
