Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
