return my video game
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
