Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
