Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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