ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Are these your boobs on my camera?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
