It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
