At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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