I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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