I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
