Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
