So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
