someone threw a dead crab at me
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
