So drunk, too bad you don't want this
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
