Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Randomize