no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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