I feel great
I just peed on a car
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
