I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize