No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
She even gives head with a lisp.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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