No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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