ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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