just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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