he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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