so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
