he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
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He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
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Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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