I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
