My sheets look like a crime scene.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
In America we eat man semen.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
