So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
