Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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