And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
