I like my sex mixed with concussions.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
