I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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