Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
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I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
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I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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