Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
