I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
now i know why i became what i already was.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
