Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
