doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
