God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
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