You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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