whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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