You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
