Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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