He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
it's great music for shaving your balls
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
