you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Randomize
