i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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