i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
