Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
