It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
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