Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Randomize
