either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Randomize
