I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Randomize
