Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
