Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
